Monday, July 16, 2012

Another Reckoning


I can’t believe it’s finally over. The struggle that consumed till the last bit of energy I had, for several days and nights of my college life. Caught in irrevocable times, I learnt my lessons well and for good. My mind continuously evolved while sinking down the ocean of endless sorrow. I don’t know if I learnt all the concepts that were taught in my college. But I’m pretty sure that I got to learn the life-concepts. May be these four years were meant to be a part of my life. Thanks to the backbone I developed in the process, I could finally make tougher decisions by introspecting. It might seem ludicrous to others but they will have step into my shoes to comprehend.
I was a mediocre example on how to screw up studies. With a given amount of time for preparation and all the abundant resources, I still screwed it up. It seemed so unfair to blame myself as I was going bonkers with those circuits and vicious lecturers. Passed every semester touching the stacked up books at the eleventh hour. Saying “First thing in the morning, I’ll open up Lesson 1” on the night before exam and miserably falling asleep to glory till it’s time to pack up for college. Don’t try this at home folks. Fortunately, I have a job to screw up now.
Found much more love for photography and the only thing that could bring me back in one piece. I still remember those days when I used to scout everything and everywhere from a hair-pin to a tall building while listening to Linkin Park and the album Vice-Verses by Switchfoot. It brought a great deal of clarity and the courage to face and deal situations. I would scan the object looking for each and every detail. I would say that photography is the best thing that happened to me. I could have made it as a career but I am not confident enough and I thought that it would not generate a huge income unless I have expensive state of the art equipments and a job in NGC. If I had the opportunity to take up photography as a career in the near future, I would definitely make a call and never look back. But I have gotta save money before that. I’ve gotta have a solid and reliable source of income. 
My mind is completely crowded. It’s been a while since I have had a sound sleep and Mr. Deep-in-Thought has nothing else to worry about. I have already messed up my undergrad big time and it keeps me worrying about the future. 
My date of joining has been pushed till March 2013 and I have about eight months to bring myself together. Umpteen miles are there to cover in my adventure of self-discovery and this sends me back to my pensive state. I haven’t yet figured out a road to take.