Excerpt from an unposted letter

The journey from just an acquaintance to sharing the same quarters of the heart, was so dramatic and eventful. But I wasn't prepared to write about it until now. Guessed there was perennial lament already written all over it. As much as I'd wanted to express earlier, but too many boils spoils the broth. I have locked it in a trinket box which I threw long ago out in the ocean. I reach out whenever I needed it. I need it now. 

A mere glimpse would only give subtle hints but if you look hard enough, you can salvage tons of beautiful memory that shaped my very temperament. Sure it had grey unending melancholy but it had its moments. Like a light at the end of the tunnel, I was always piloted back home. I wore it like armor, unafraid to show the world who I truly was and ready to face the million arrows that was about to pierce through. The jagged pathways of self-discovery were seamless as the world became more habitable. As esteemed as the honor, one fights to attain, it made me tread with my head held high.      

This is an impeccable time to start over as the waves wash away my footprints and the aqueous sand gets back to it's primitive state. The words I carved during the course of this sojourn will guide me through till the end. Though circumstances will try to wipe them away, the impression lasts on forever. 

I promise. I promise to make plenty of endeavors like this in the future, to break new walls and to stare at the sun shine. When each night fades away, days will always be brighter than yesterday. I promise to send more postcards with vivid pictures of a perfectly painted life. I promise to make every second count collecting instances of joy and not regrets. I promise not to forget anything and if I'm lucky, the stars will live to tell my tale.    

Pillars of Strength:

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

I will try to fix you!!

[Coldplay - Fix You]

This is what exactly friends do. They fix me. As I revisit the moments that changed my life altogether, I close my eyes and flashes of beautiful memories frame themselves around me. People always say friends enliven our life like million stars that lighten the dark and vast night sky. With friends, cups can be filled with oceans, infinity can be measured and pigs can be made to fly, they say.  Until I met these five, it was just a vague idea for me. 

Infosys, Mysore. The place where we met as part of our training and where we were destined to become geeky IT freaks. At least that's what people call themselves (Jerks!). Sigh. Okay. So, while we were destined to become them, we didn't have the slightest idea that we would hang out together all the time. Wait a sec. Nobody says hang out anymore. We gang out. Still doesn't sound new. Nah, we do whatever the eff we want. But together.  

Here are the rap sheets:

Lokesh AKA Loki: 

The leader of the pack. A proud iPhone owner. He's the most responsible person in the group and a die hard fan of Steve Jobs. He's like if you give him a broom, he would paint Mona Lisa with it. Be it any job, he'll get down to business in a matter of seconds and finish it with utmost perfection. He and I, we're the opposite sides of a coin. He's all that I'm not and couldn't be. I would look like his evil twin. We've got pretty much similar tastes in movies and are RDJ (Robert Downey Jr.) fans. 

While there was imminent death by Java for me, I used to vent my stress off in the TT court. This guy beat me in every single match we ever played. But there were days where we both beat the crap out of the opposite team when we played doubles. Smash after smash, the rivals would go wailing to their moms. I wish I could beat him once. Don't worry brodha, you're defeat is not far away. 

Nivetha AKA Names of all animals: 

The girl who never gets tired brawling verbally with me and we go to war all the time. We don't even call each other using our names. She's like this friend who you always bicker with. I never knew her until then but we stuck together with glue in no time. Loves to object and oppose my taste in women. Likes Eva Mendes. I bet she doesn't have even little idea of who Mendes is. (I'm gonna get kicked for this!) A shopping junkie.

She's the person I go to, to drain all my sorrow and she is a kinda friend who would slap you hard to tell you that you're doing something stupid. Girl, no matter how hard it looks, things will eventually turn out good. Stop chasing shadows, just enjoy the ride!  

Ganesh Singh AKA Salsa Singhu:   

The guy who likes the 'salsa' girl. I'm sure he's already running away reading this. He cares a lot about the others in the group. He's very much dysfunctional without his mobile. You gotta give a lot of credit to him as he likes to be glued to the IRCTC website. Whenever the both of us meet , we keep swearing like hell, talking rubbish. We would later be ashamed to see everyone around shut off their ears to stop listening to what we swear and we would still continue. 

Raji AKA Raji:

Sensible and Silliest cuteness she is. The bond that binds us together. Typical South Indian girl. There will be a character in every Indian movie who represents the audience. This character asks questions or doubts to the hero on whatever the hero does. The act is done to prevent audience from getting lost from the film's plot and to prevent them raising questions about the logic in the film. I would say that she would perfectly fill that role with much elegance. A dosa lover. Right at the brink of midnight, go to the food court near the multiplex and you'll see her with two dosas. It was two every single time. 

I felt so irrecoverable and lonely after all my college classmates were moved to a different training level. With all those pages of code, it gets gnarly you know. I had her best company to beat the odds. 

Anita AKA The English Teacher:

There's always this person in the group who would correct all the misspellings and wrong word usage in English. She's that fourth grade English teacher we all feared with incredibly huge glasses and a long ruler to spank our palms. We would spend years decoding what she says on Whatsapp and she doesn't have any idea what she's trying to say. 

She's the spiritual face of the pack. Trust me, she can make miracles happen. She once prayed that nobody should ever understand what she types and it happened. Kidding. She prayed that I should get a transfer to my home state and it unbelievably happened. Keep praying girl. 

So this is pretty much my life. Yes, they are my life. We are now separated miles apart with everyone living at different corners of the country. Occasional conference calls keep us together. I feel like I'm kinda paralyzed without them. Hoping to breathe together again. Chaos will be cheesecake. With friends like these, I could even stare back at God if there is any staring competition. He would be the first one to blink. 

                                        

Bloody but Unbowed

I recollect that I was battle-hungry to keep my ever working devil's workshop busy. Tried to fit into this slow paced living. Oh man! It's just so boring to be ordinary. I prayed to Life every day to cut me some slack. I was like this dude who flips the cigarette lighter so fast outta anger, frustration and boredom. Channelizing the adrenaline rush towards something is the only way to put this rage at rest. 

There was this thought that simultaneously surfaced into my head which later began to stir up my consciousness. People my age have already achieved or at least started to attempt and there's me trying to do countless trivial pursuits. These people, they are shaping the world and I am sitting in front of a dumb computer to do a job even a 10 yr old can effortlessly accomplish. I felt so obsolete and it bothered me. 

I also realized that clock's ticking. Before I know I would eventually move around the house with a crutch.  I couldn't stand the thought that it'll be over. I mean death is inevitable. I hate to think that I would simply pass out with regrets.   

There's not a second to waste. Imagine what we would all do if all we've got is one day. Would we not race to accomplish the things that we wanted to achieve in a day?  Why not live each day like your last?  Why not do all the things in the world?    

With so much energy within, the young blood begins to boil right from the moment it leaves the heart. Also to mention, I was becoming a total metal head. Needless to say, it was adding fuel to the fire. I started to lay out the goals that I have long been trying to complete. I tapped into all the data feeds that were buried in my brain long enough to become dormant. I became very methodical even while working. Taking a very boring yet important task at work that almost anyone can do and converting it into something interesting and simple gave me the necessary boost. You always start small but eventually you'll learn to adapt and keep up with the rate at which what you're doing is growing. All of a sudden you'll feel futile to do new things as human body are meant to resist change. But the most important and toughest part is to start! You'll find the long forgotten form in time.  

The goals are beginning to take shape. It's hurting, exhausting and depressing in the process, which means it's good. Because you know you're going through something new! Phew! Calling it goal seems tired and mundane. I call it living 8)