Pillars of Strength:

When you try your best but you don't succeed

When you get what you want but not what you need

When you feel so tired but you can't sleep

Stuck in reverse

When the tears come streaming down your face

When you lose something you can't replace

When you love someone but it goes to waste

Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home

And ignite your bones

I will try to fix you!!

[Coldplay - Fix You]

This is what exactly friends do. They fix me. As I revisit the moments that changed my life altogether, I close my eyes and flashes of beautiful memories frame themselves around me. People always say friends enliven our life like million stars that lighten the dark and vast night sky. With friends, cups can be filled with oceans, infinity can be measured and pigs can be made to fly, they say.  Until I met these five, it was just a vague idea for me. 

Infosys, Mysore. The place where we met as part of our training and where we were destined to become geeky IT freaks. At least that's what people call themselves (Jerks!). Sigh. Okay. So, while we were destined to become them, we didn't have the slightest idea that we would hang out together all the time. Wait a sec. Nobody says hang out anymore. We gang out. Still doesn't sound new. Nah, we do whatever the eff we want. But together.  

Here are the rap sheets:

Lokesh AKA Loki: 

The leader of the pack. A proud iPhone owner. He's the most responsible person in the group and a die hard fan of Steve Jobs. He's like if you give him a broom, he would paint Mona Lisa with it. Be it any job, he'll get down to business in a matter of seconds and finish it with utmost perfection. He and I, we're the opposite sides of a coin. He's all that I'm not and couldn't be. I would look like his evil twin. We've got pretty much similar tastes in movies and are RDJ (Robert Downey Jr.) fans. 

While there was imminent death by Java for me, I used to vent my stress off in the TT court. This guy beat me in every single match we ever played. But there were days where we both beat the crap out of the opposite team when we played doubles. Smash after smash, the rivals would go wailing to their moms. I wish I could beat him once. Don't worry brodha, you're defeat is not far away. 

Nivetha AKA Names of all animals: 

The girl who never gets tired brawling verbally with me and we go to war all the time. We don't even call each other using our names. She's like this friend who you always bicker with. I never knew her until then but we stuck together with glue in no time. Loves to object and oppose my taste in women. Likes Eva Mendes. I bet she doesn't have even little idea of who Mendes is. (I'm gonna get kicked for this!) A shopping junkie.

She's the person I go to, to drain all my sorrow and she is a kinda friend who would slap you hard to tell you that you're doing something stupid. Girl, no matter how hard it looks, things will eventually turn out good. Stop chasing shadows, just enjoy the ride!  

Ganesh Singh AKA Salsa Singhu:   

The guy who likes the 'salsa' girl. I'm sure he's already running away reading this. He cares a lot about the others in the group. He's very much dysfunctional without his mobile. You gotta give a lot of credit to him as he likes to be glued to the IRCTC website. Whenever the both of us meet , we keep swearing like hell, talking rubbish. We would later be ashamed to see everyone around shut off their ears to stop listening to what we swear and we would still continue. 

Raji AKA Raji:

Sensible and Silliest cuteness she is. The bond that binds us together. Typical South Indian girl. There will be a character in every Indian movie who represents the audience. This character asks questions or doubts to the hero on whatever the hero does. The act is done to prevent audience from getting lost from the film's plot and to prevent them raising questions about the logic in the film. I would say that she would perfectly fill that role with much elegance. A dosa lover. Right at the brink of midnight, go to the food court near the multiplex and you'll see her with two dosas. It was two every single time. 

I felt so irrecoverable and lonely after all my college classmates were moved to a different training level. With all those pages of code, it gets gnarly you know. I had her best company to beat the odds. 

Anita AKA The English Teacher:

There's always this person in the group who would correct all the misspellings and wrong word usage in English. She's that fourth grade English teacher we all feared with incredibly huge glasses and a long ruler to spank our palms. We would spend years decoding what she says on Whatsapp and she doesn't have any idea what she's trying to say. 

She's the spiritual face of the pack. Trust me, she can make miracles happen. She once prayed that nobody should ever understand what she types and it happened. Kidding. She prayed that I should get a transfer to my home state and it unbelievably happened. Keep praying girl. 

So this is pretty much my life. Yes, they are my life. We are now separated miles apart with everyone living at different corners of the country. Occasional conference calls keep us together. I feel like I'm kinda paralyzed without them. Hoping to breathe together again. Chaos will be cheesecake. With friends like these, I could even stare back at God if there is any staring competition. He would be the first one to blink. 

                                        

Bloody but Unbowed

I recollect that I was battle-hungry to keep my ever working devil's workshop busy. Tried to fit into this slow paced living. Oh man! It's just so boring to be ordinary. I prayed to Life every day to cut me some slack. I was like this dude who flips the cigarette lighter so fast outta anger, frustration and boredom. Channelizing the adrenaline rush towards something is the only way to put this rage at rest. 

There was this thought that simultaneously surfaced into my head which later began to stir up my consciousness. People my age have already achieved or at least started to attempt and there's me trying to do countless trivial pursuits. These people, they are shaping the world and I am sitting in front of a dumb computer to do a job even a 10 yr old can effortlessly accomplish. I felt so obsolete and it bothered me. 

I also realized that clock's ticking. Before I know I would eventually move around the house with a crutch.  I couldn't stand the thought that it'll be over. I mean death is inevitable. I hate to think that I would simply pass out with regrets.   

There's not a second to waste. Imagine what we would all do if all we've got is one day. Would we not race to accomplish the things that we wanted to achieve in a day?  Why not live each day like your last?  Why not do all the things in the world?    

With so much energy within, the young blood begins to boil right from the moment it leaves the heart. Also to mention, I was becoming a total metal head. Needless to say, it was adding fuel to the fire. I started to lay out the goals that I have long been trying to complete. I tapped into all the data feeds that were buried in my brain long enough to become dormant. I became very methodical even while working. Taking a very boring yet important task at work that almost anyone can do and converting it into something interesting and simple gave me the necessary boost. You always start small but eventually you'll learn to adapt and keep up with the rate at which what you're doing is growing. All of a sudden you'll feel futile to do new things as human body are meant to resist change. But the most important and toughest part is to start! You'll find the long forgotten form in time.  

The goals are beginning to take shape. It's hurting, exhausting and depressing in the process, which means it's good. Because you know you're going through something new! Phew! Calling it goal seems tired and mundane. I call it living 8)            

Life, Turbocharged

I’ve always asked this question, every time I begin to write my heart out.  “Why do I write?” I’m ready to give an answer now. I write because I want to remember these struggles for long and because of my growing and growling passion to write things. And pain makes me write.

A Blind and Blunt arrow (July 2012):

One month ago, I was pondering over the thought why I studied Engineering, yet somehow managed to complete it. Nevertheless, I had to wait for almost eight months to join the company. Out of infantile curiosity, took up French classes. During the period, it had become a habit roaming within the city where we photo-freaks find it attractive. We were aimlessly roaming through the streets grabbing occasional moments for perfect pictures. I had zero intention of getting serious about life in the near future. I just wanted to spread my hands wider and embrace it. While the course was in progress, my friend invited me to attend an interview for a company. I had to refuse it because of the conditional timings. Opportunities knocked not once but twice.

Frolic times (September 2012):

I was offered a second chance to keep aside fun and get things going. But it was fun, fun and fun all over. A taxi to take you to work and home, a company where there are no concrete rules, plenty of fun-loving buddies and a decent paycheck. “What more I want??” I thought. Deep down below I knew that it has to end some day. Do I look like I care?

Initial bout (June 2013 – July 2013): 

It was time to move out of the city. I was indeed going to live in a different state outta reach from the caring hands. Will they send me back in the next train? Will my life turn hell?. Mixed emotions began to gush into my mind before the train departed. Not even a teeny tiny hope of getting a better life. I totally sucked at the initial foundation program which was given as an online course. So the result was clear outta the mist.

The campus was larger than life itself. With sprawling greenery, there was beauty wherever the eyes can see. The preliminary tests were a big flop and I was moved to a different training level. It felt as though I was caught in a blizzard. The excruciatingly painful cold and the canopy of darkness engulfed me till my neck. My feet seemed like they’ll break away from my legs any time and were begging me to give up. I just could not handle the pressure and I break at the first sight of pressure. 

I was widening my playlist genres that time. My usual guitar riffs slowly turned dark and heavy, with the vocals becoming screams. Trust me, I was screaming out loud. I would storm off to play table-tennis to vent out my anger.  

With the aid from my friends, I slowly began to shake the cold off my feet. I started to stride and eventually I ran. During the initial few days, I felt like I was cornered in a boxing ring where my opponent beat the hell outta me. The entire body seemed to run outta energy but there was one part of that will not lose strength, my heart. I was actually pounding back with each blow to the face.

The Climb (August 2013 – October 2013): 

I was moved to stream training then. These are officially called ‘fool-around’ days. I was back to my old ways of being a loafer with that loose cannon attitude. Failures followed. It was like I was thrown into a pit. A pit where you will be forged with anger and pain. A man can suffer only so long, after which he becomes numb. I flunked in every test in every possible way. I knew nothing. I've also been posted elsewhere from my home city which made the situation worse.

I've got only one chance to prove myself worthy of the job. With each struggle, the stakes got larger. It was the survival of the fittest. I have been collecting failures and carrying it over my shoulder as a burden. The weight pressed on as I knelt down in my knees. Throbbing in pain, I fell apart into pieces. I was desperately searching for answers. Answers that would save me from this inferno. There was a special screening in our multiplex and "Bhag Milkha Bhag" was the movie. I decided to take a break and shelve my worries.

Exactly the window I needed. There was this kid who was scared to death to fight the outside world and then one day he was choked until he realized that there was no hope. He had to fight somehow. The pain then turned to anger. With the help of his mentors, he pushed long and hard that the walls shattered. The courage to brawl back, manifested in his soul, for he never ever gives up. I was reminded who I was. 

It was the time when life taught me the most important lesson in winning, holding on no matter what happens. I heard them all saying that it's a long way up the pit. It was about time to make the climb and in the end I'll either make or break. I made small careful and cautious efforts making one step at a time. The pace gradually increased only to see me falling down in every move. I wiped the dripping sweat as I stood gazing upwards.  The strength that was buried long, surfaced to the body. The more angry I was, the more higher I rose.

Sometimes it felt futile to fight as after all this ends, I ll still be far away from home. And you always want to go home.  Regardless, I decided to end what I started. It took umpteen hours of struggle to see the light at the top of the pit. I won.

During the final days of the rigorous training, I received a phone call asking me to meet the H.R. I was expecting them to throw me far, out in the north.

H.R: "I don't know if this is good or bad news. You have been asked to relocate to a new unit"

I had reckoned it exactly. Before I could move on along with my thoughts, she said, " Your will be reallocated to our manufacturing support unit based out in Chennai". I was dumb-struck. I ran back to my room, sharing the news to my friends on the way. I sat before the mirror and saw a tiny  tear drop crawling out of the eye.

Miracles do happen. Keep fighting your way out. You don't have to keep looking for it. It finds you.

As it's time to return in a few days, I remember all the hearts that helped me succeed. I touch and feel my scars that reminds me of who I am,  setting my sights upon the road ahead.

Lost but won (Mid-October 2013): 

Everyone’s driven by something. The tag line for the movie ‘Rush’. Every inch of the movie moved my soul. The deafening roar of the Formula 1 car engines, the fire of passion in the drivers’ eyes and the relentless odds they face. Like them, I’m obsessed to fight and succeed. It’s amazing how you feel when the adrenaline pumps inside your body to thrust you forwards with a raging speed, wanting to challenge everything that your eyes see. That feeling you get when your odds vanish away from the rear view mirror. I wanted more of all this. The thought kept me alive.

I moved in back to my home state and surprisingly, everything was so neatly arranged and sorted. I was told that I’ve been roped in for an automobile project as soon as I joined. But there was no official news. So, I had to wait.

The hardest part is to wait. I was restless, like a hungry beast. The adrenaline that was fired up earlier during my training never diminished. I was a king without a war.  Felt as though my purpose was taken back from me. Sometimes it felt like I got the reallocation and the project out of pure luck and not as a reward for my struggle. Weird thoughts crept in and I needed to settle down. Luck is something very new to me and giving it to my hands, I had no clue as to what I should do. Those were things that weren't truly in my control and with this mind, I finally came to rest.

I wanted a fight where there’s no space for luck and can only be fought with mettle. I landed up in a project soon enough and I’m finally working.

Now when I look back, there are frames of perfect and difficult moments that I fondly shared. Thanks to you my friends (Pravs, Muthu, Raji, Loki, Nive, Doss, Prat and much more) for being with me the whole time and for saying straight to my face that I will win.   

           

Another Reckoning

I can’t believe it’s finally over. The struggle that consumed till the last bit of energy I had, for several days and nights of my college life. Caught in irrevocable times, I learnt my lessons well and for good. My mind continuously evolved while sinking down the ocean of endless sorrow. I don’t know if I learnt all the concepts that were taught in my college. But I’m pretty sure that I got to learn the life-concepts. May be these four years were meant to be a part of my life. Thanks to the backbone I developed in the process, I could finally make tougher decisions by introspecting. It might seem ludicrous to others but they will have step into my shoes to comprehend.

I was a mediocre example on how to screw up studies. With a given amount of time for preparation and all the abundant resources, I still screwed it up. It seemed so unfair to blame myself as I was going bonkers with those circuits and vicious lecturers. Passed every semester touching the stacked up books at the eleventh hour. Saying “First thing in the morning, I’ll open up Lesson 1” on the night before exam and miserably falling asleep to glory till it’s time to pack up for college. Don’t try this at home folks. Fortunately, I have a job to screw up now.

Found much more love for photography and the only thing that could bring me back in one piece. I still remember those days when I used to scout everything and everywhere from a hair-pin to a tall building while listening to Linkin Park and the album Vice-Verses by Switchfoot. It brought a great deal of clarity and the courage to face and deal situations. I would scan the object looking for each and every detail. I would say that photography is the best thing that happened to me. I could have made it as a career but I am not confident enough and I thought that it would not generate a huge income unless I have expensive state of the art equipments and a job in NGC. If I had the opportunity to take up photography as a career in the near future, I would definitely make a call and never look back. But I have gotta save money before that. I’ve gotta have a solid and reliable source of income. 

My mind is completely crowded. It’s been a while since I have had a sound sleep and Mr. Deep-in-Thought has nothing else to worry about. I have already messed up my undergrad big time and it keeps me worrying about the future. 

My date of joining has been pushed till March 2013 and I have about eight months to bring myself together. Umpteen miles are there to cover in my adventure of self-discovery and this sends me back to my pensive state. I haven’t yet figured out a road to take.  

The Flight of the Damned

We thought we knew right; I doubted it though.

I was at the middle; in between the divide.

My soul stepped out to see it through.

We define our truths and less we care of the life beside.

I started to rebel with all the might I had.

I was deceived, made blind by wicked illusions.

I gave up the battle bowing to the blood fad.

Tormented and maligned, I had to make my confessions.  

Among the fallen, I was chained to the ground.

The subtle clues to the world above, made it hard to go on.

Became so weak to listen to a sound.

I could have crossed many miles yet I waited for them to pinion.

Like shattered glass, my life fell apart.

Every piece that fell, began to reflect the suffering.

Was a casualty of war, within their rampart.

I closed them eyes; listened to the inside bellowing.

I break off with wounds so deep.

I shed those wings to have new ones.

I pick up the pieces, with lots to weep.

I wonder where to begin and I fly so high to the world I own.

Reasons to Move On

I don’t want to transcend this period of my life. These four years have taught me more than what I was meant to learn from the day I stepped into this world. Like metal, I was melted, broken and forged into a new being. Stepping out from my comfort zone really made me discover myself. It was cold and treacherous at first. But beyond those gates of despair lied the most tranquil and eternal life. I was able to clearly view the mess I made out of my life and bring some sense to it. There are a whole lot of things I wish I should change in the future yet it makes me want to live those moments once again.  

While I began to dig deeper, there were lots of dirt around me. Every now and then, I won gold. Those valuable, priceless pieces of lessons I was taught. I discovered my potential on countless occasions. Be it photography, be it music, I never knew I had the abilities earlier. But I felt uncomfortable during the initial few days. Every time I wanted to do something new, I got weird feelings and I dropped it off. It all takes a try. It doesn’t cost anything. So, try moving out of your zone and you will have a strong will made of titanium when you begin to do the things that you want to do but makes you uncomfortable. You will have a less mediocre life too.  We ought to grow up today to be a better person than the kind of person we were. Win over yourself.   

Life had plenty of surprises and I was walking to a place I have never seen before. There were plenty of people around me to hit my head and tell me what I had been doing was wrong. With a poker face, I was reluctant to listen to them and I wanted to make punch bags out of everyone. Most of them were a bit harsh but the way I see it now, they had given me heedful instructions. I think that I’m meant to learn things in the hard way. Exploring music in between all the chaos was like quenching in the barren lands of a desert.

I never stopped laughing when I was with my buddies back at college. I did insane things with them realising that if I let go those moments, I might not get time to rendezvous in the future and will definitely regret in the years to come. I had people to give me a hand when I was let down and gradually, I was comfortable with reality. Lived it off like life was meant to be aimlessly stridden. I wished that I would pass out holding on to these memories.

Eventually things were stirred up and I was blamed for living a purposeless, futile life. My own conscience began to shake my world. I had been making dramatic changes in me after going through a lot. I was having a perfect life that I refused to move on. I became so much abulic to step forward and was labelled a loafer.

 I had to retrospect to realise that I had been only savouring the journey and there has to be a destination. Right through my life, I have never performed impossible feats and I understood that it’s about balancing both extremes. Enjoying the journey whilst aiming for the pinnacle is the key. Greatness lets you have a more satisfying life with an ultimate purpose. Moving along the herd will only let you have an ordinary life and so you gotta stand out in a crowd. People will say,” He came, he lived and he left”. Scribe out the things you think you should achieve in life so that in the death bed you have fewer things to regret about and you should live in such a way that your life influenced others’ living. Life’s worth a try folks!! And you’ve got only one chance.  Be the best of what you can be. Strive to achieve something in life that makes others think that you stood up for greatness.

In the present day, I live on. I choose the way of the water. No matter how much you obstruct its path, it still slides in above or between. Even when disturbed, takes its original shape. I’m gathering the risks which I refused to take even after knowing that it would help me reach the peak and I vow myself that I will be above all this chaos one day. It’s time to get back in the game FASTER and STRONGER!!! 

Life is just happening!!

Everybody has a past... This is mine...You ought to know....

Evanescence: 

Born in middle-class, I have never ever felt like one in the society because of the vow that my dad took like every other dad promises himself, ‘My son should be able to afford anything he wants and he shouldn’t suffer like I did’. Cloaked underneath the stereotypes of a Brahmin family, I was taken care just like a prince fortified within the beliefs and heed of my parents. I began to perceive things from their eyes as if they were my sight to the world.  I hardly dared to think beyond those walls and I was in their world. As a kiddo I enjoyed all such comfort given to me but have never thought about the life without them. From the day I knew this world I was brought up with a belief that friends always spoil you which was totally insane. A hostile, uncharted dimension was lying outside those wooden doors, waiting to be explored. Life went-by acquiring happiness in petty things until I fluttered out to the paradox trying to mingle with the majority. I began to reflect my parents to the world outside and I never knew myself even then. While everyone was fulfilling their ‘teenage dreams’, I was into nothing. I was neither a nerd, who sits in the front row wearing huge glasses, questioning everything the teacher had to say nor one of those guys sitting at the last, staring at their classmates’ lunch boxes. I preferred the middle rows, rolling into my realm in everyday class. To me listening to teachers was quaint and boring.

“Today is your result”, Dad cried to me folding the newspaper. I hardly responded.

“I will go to your school and see it myself”, he said.

“Ok”, I replied. 

Redemption:

 During the final leg of my secondary schooling, I was facing my worst ever nightmare and they said I messed up big time in the goddamn final exams. Factually I was above average and Dad was at his best saying ‘This kid ain’t worth it’. I thought that why should my mom get the scolding as he screamed at my mom too. I began to hate my miserable life as I could not fulfil the demands of my father. In an act of anger he rushed towards my mom and there was I, between the silent suffering of my mom and disappointed dad. I had a steel ruler in my hand as I stood against my dad. I realised the stupidity of what I had done when there was a wall of silence in the house for months. We hardly spoke, me and my dad. Life was turning upside down. There’s a ‘new-age saying’ that if you can’t make it, just fake it.  I had to fake my happiness by aimlessly cycling with buddies, bunking math and science classes. Never a day passed without confrontation by dad for my activities and I was telling to myself that he was the reason for what I had become then. Those days I wish to forget and tried to erase them off my memory as I lost sight of myself. I was praised so much for my mischief in the class and parents were insulted.          

Repurpose:

Dad broke his silence barrier when he saw me cramming up so hard for the twelfth grade board exam. Even then he told that I wouldn’t survive the math exam without his help. I thought we were back to where we started. After completing the exams, I went upstate to my uncle’s place at Chennai. When the results finally arrived, dad was happy with my performance and I got a sensible score. To all those people who yelled at me “Hey this guy has scored well!! This girl will definitely get Anna University. Why didn’t you study properly?” I replied “Piss off!! This is ME! I can get only this much “. Henceforth the hunt for college began. People in the house chose a college for me and I had to stay in the hostel. On first of day of college, I saw signs ‘Welcoming all the budding engineers’ on the billboard and “Will I ever become one?” in my head. Dad sarcastically said “Don’t cry” when he dropped me off at the hostel.

Upon living in the hostel, I had so much experiments and experiences with life. I missed all the love and affection of my parents and I was somehow trying to fit-in but it was so hard for me to adjust with the food they throw at our plates. It felt like I was jailed. You gotta fight for your food and in the process you will get your pants painted with sambar. I used to think that why should these guys fight to eat tasteless food but it took me months to learn that they are driven by hunger and stress caused by the college and the travel to outskirts of the city in dog vans, our buses. Even now they serve the food with same taste and attitude. So much commitment they have towards the taste of the crap they prepare. If you go for a strike, the principal would threaten to wipe out the whole department. What a jerk!! My taste buds were dead in a week and we practised fasting most of the times as we aren’t allowed to go out of the campus after 6. I know guys who lost so many kilos in first five days. Few seemed like victims of tuberculosis. The warden would think that he belongs to the management itself and he is the absolute authority. But we thought rules are meant to be broken. We indulged in as many activities as we could to stay alive, like using mobile phones, celebrating birthday parties at midnight etc.

Catharsis:

Gradually, I got accustomed to the new life. Perhaps I had no time to worry because of the tiring schedule after the long holiday. From a hardcore Brahmin family who think that even clock’s ticking because of god, I was struggling to adjust with my roommates. One of my friends got me into rock; Linkin Park was the band we listened. I was so bored listening to boy band pop albums and needed some change in the rhythm. The band just took away my breath with their lyrics and alternative rock music. I remember spending most of the time shoving in my headphones and listening to LP in all its glory. I began to shift my attention to western music. Every moment was juxtaposed with LP’s lyrics while I played dead in reality.

As usual, classes were boring stuff to us and we would pull the semester off by studying on the night before. I have seen people who would mug the entire book without missing out the punctuation marks and I have seen people like me who would become authors while writing the exam. Lecturers were paid off well to dictate whatever is present on the prescribed text book. Weekends were bliss at my uncle’s place and served as my personal place of rejuvenation. I had to trade it off if I flunked in the monthly exams. I had been oblivious for the past three years regardless of the chaos around me as I was haloed with emptiness, wanting change for pursuing my purpose. It took a lot of pain and effort to achieve change in my miserable life.

Resurrection:


Enlightened by the wisdom of Robin Sharma, T.T. Rangarajan, Shiv Kera and Brian Tracy, I finally found myself. I learnt that it’s not the colour of the balloon that makes it go upwards but the air. This applies to our life too!! Attitude keeps us afloat as what’s inside that counts. Instead of whining over any situation, let’s shift our sight to the positive aspects of it. We can turn tables here!! Any setback can be a step forward if our attitude towards it changes. What seems out of reach will be in your hands!! To stay happy I just focussed my energy towards doing what I really like. Be it anything you like. Just hold on to it!!! Things will make sense then. Bury the past and remember that it takes only seconds to change our present. All those emotional agitations can be avoided which in turn unleashes our full potential. Your outside happenings are just the reflections of the inside state. You can just snap out of all the sufferings with inner peace. My life changed dramatically by constant introspection along with the backup plan from those authors.

Soon enough I was making magic in my life rather than just simply existing. I, along with my roommates began cooking for ourselves in the hostel and it was so much fun to share the work. I realised everything becomes exciting when you add love to it. I started appreciating music of all kinds and made my own tunes in my mind every now and then. Inspired by the works of a friend, took up photography as a hobby first and then it became my passion. By closing the shutter, I stop time to enjoy the exquisiteness of things around me and breathing with the moments I cherish. As soon as I began shooting, I was unable to satisfy the quench for perfection of the ‘critics’. I only do it for me and for fun!! And not to impress you folks!! ‘For the first time in years, my dad lauded my work and life was just happening!!!!

Euphoria:

Ever since I knew this world, I have never tasted true happiness until then. Yet there was a catch. I never studied seriously since my school. I have been adding so much E grades to my semester mark sheets lately. Who cares :P !!!  

Mid-2011 was promising from the beginning as I was uncaged from the hostel and was allowed to move in with friends. There was this ‘placement’ buzz in the college and all the IT biggies were about to visit our college for recruitment. I never took tutoring sessions seriously and my fellow classmates would sit with aptitude books for hours. I had decided to go abroad for my further studies and then I was hopeless after I messed in GRE. So I convinced myself to attend the placements just for securing a job. “This is how you solve aptitude questions”, my friend said after he had worked out a dozen problems. “I can’t do it man “, I replied as I realised the seriousness of bunking math classes. “ Use your GRE skills man!!” people said. I had never solved problems of that sort and I was hoping to score in the verbal section. On the last week before placement, I sat down with the materials and solved only few problems in each section. It was more than enough I thought.

The time when I was confident of solving the math section, it was placement day already. I was wearing a Reid & Taylor shirt for the first time for the interview. I was dumb enough to think that my shirt itself would make a statement and H.R would give the appointment order right away :P. It was Infosys on first day and we were all seated for written test. Someone from the company entered our class and shouted “If you aren’t eligible then you better leave this place. The entry criteria would be sixty percentage above “. When few guys along with me stood up to enquire if it’s okay to be a six pointer, we were sent out of the class with a ”get out” from the Infosys guy. “There goes the loser” I said to me. Then our placement co-ord convinced him and sent us inside. Actually there was confusion between CGPA and the percentage. As soon as I got into the question paper I began to solve the problems with much ease. After completing the test we were made to wait for 2 hours straight before they announced the results. The names of those who were qualified to the next round were read out in lists. Many names went by but I was sitting there like a duck. My friends who have been sitting beside me were sent to the next round and I was hoping for a miracle to happen. To my surprise, they called out my name and I left for the next round. I thought that those days spent with aptitude training software during my eighth grade paid off pretty well.

Before the next round, I was made to wait again. The situation demanded more patience than of what I actually had. In the next round, I had to wait for 3 hours straight and all the students who were selected for the H.R round were already interviewed. I was one among the last five to be called out. The guy who was doing the job called the four of them except me. By the time I realized that my name was accidently included, he said “Your application is here!! Go for the next round”. I gave a relieved sigh and was waiting again in front of the H.R room.

One of the H.R officers came out having a conversation over the phone, “We have successfully completed the recruitment in Anand Institute!! “ 

Me: “WTF?????”

Bad ‘me’: You are all f ’ed up man!! Screw this job! We’ll do M.S.

Good ‘me’: Be patient. You will nail this.

Bad ‘me’: Don’t listen to him. He will pull you down under.

Good ‘me’: If you don’t get into a decent university, you will have to beg for a job.

Bad ‘me’: We can sit at home, eat and manage with dad’s income.

Me: Shut up you idiots!!!

Finally!! I was called for the H.R interview.

H.R: How do you feel to be interviewed at last after 143 students?

Me: I have a lotta patience ma’am.

“I am freaked out. Gimme the goddamn job”, I wanted to say.

H.R: Very Good. If you want, you can go out and have something. I’ll wait.

Me: Am good. I can manage.

H.R: So, Let’s find out if you have what it takes!!!

Me: Sure. That’s why I’m here.

After having a brief interview, a discussion I would say, about the unknown qualities in me, it was 20 minutes past 8.  

H.R: Am happy that you can motivate people. You have lots of patience too. You like to travel a lot and can adapt to anything. Am I right???

Me: Yes ma’am. I do have those in me.

H.R: Okay. I’m done. See ya at Mysore!!

The last statement was evident enough that I would be selected but I wasn’t so sure. I was told that I was selected and for real. When people asked me about the interview, I simply said, “Piece of cake!! Pulled it off!! “:P.

Assuming the world doesn’t end, I gear up for 2012, my next mission if I choose to accept it, is weight reduction :P :D

These are my scars and souvenirs! The memory of a lifetime!! I thank all my dear friends and my family for teaching me the lessons on life. I can hold my head up high and proudly say, “This is where I belong!! I tried and lived it to fullest!!"